Today is my 40th Birthday

It's amazing...I've reached 40 and I'm excited about the day and the future.  So many women have said that life begins at 40 and I do feel some of the extraneous baggage slipping from my being.  I'm heading out to Michigan to see Amma on Tuesday.  This has been my plan for this birthday since last year.  I haven't attended a retreat in a few years.  I'm not in denial this year.  Visits with Amma are not easy (at least not for me).  I find that Her love pushes every button of negativity in me that needs to be cleansed, but each time this happens my heart opens more.  I'm still struggling with health issues and old thoughts of negativity and self hatred but those are slipping away.  And even if I don't prevent them from arising I am able to catch myself more and more and remember that God does have a plan for me.  That I am being cared for and so are the people around me.  Of course at this time family is on my mind.  I don't have much contact with mine.  So I hope for a phone call or acknowledgment of the day, but my expectations are less than they used to be.  My highs and lows less.  I'm coming to more of an acceptance of what is.  My hopes?  To meet my soulmate, to surrender to my life calling, to let more and more love into my life and pray more and more each day...to make my life a prayer.