Day 5

Television can make people feel dissatisfied, frustrated, worried and depressed in both long and short term

not a very successful day -

more tomorrow

Turning off the tube Day 4

"Buhutanese academics have conducted an impact study and reported that television has caused 'dramatic changes': increasing crime, corruption, an uncontrolled desire for Western products, and dramatically changing attitudes to relationships. One third of girls now want to look more American (whiter skin, blonde hair). More than 35 percent of parents prefer to watch television than talk to their own children, while nearly 50 percent of children watch up to 12 hours of television a day."

I can remember spending all day Sunday watching tv -curled up under a blanket running to the kitchen and back to the den to watch some more. They aren't pleasant memories as I look back and see how much time was wasted. There are deeper reasons why this was my behavior and why no one intervened but I don't want to get into that here (at least not yet). Anyhow the why of the past is not important right now. Now is important. I'm conducting this experiment but I don't seem to be able to go cold turkey. I'm allowing myself 1 tv show a night - though last night I slipped (more about that maybe another night). I'm determined to be brutally honest. I was looking forward to The Voice -I'm a singer and I really like this show. So I watched it tonite - the live shows are really long so a few hours have passed. But now that it is over the tv is OFF. And I'm writing which is improvement. I do feel somewhat hazy - I'll call that tv haze - and grouchy - side effects of tv I'm sure.

More tomorrow - it's another episode of The Voice so I'm owning up to it tonite. I don't consider this a failed experiment. It's only starting....

More tomorrow.

Good night

Turning Off the Idiot Box - Day 3

"If hypothetically, television technology had never been developed, violent crime would be half of what it is." - Journal of the American Medical Association, Centerwall B.S. "Television and Violence: The Scale of the Problem and Where to Go From Here", 1992

Hola! I learned that yesterday when I started learning Spanish with all the spare time I had when I turned off the tube. I may change the name of this no TV campaign - I'm feeling a bit attacked by my own words. So it's Day 3 and all this is easier when I'm at work most of the day. Today was a rough one though. I have have chronic pain in my neck that comes & goes (I'm working with a chiropractor). Today I was in a lot of pain - so when when I'm tolerating that all day and doing my work which involves interacting with the public - what I most want to do is collapse on my couch and escape into the land of Law & Order or my latest fave - Modern Family. So far tonight I haven't watched anything - but there is a chance I might. I've decided that progress is ok - I'm not aiming for perfection. I already went out to dinner with my boyfriend & cleaned my bathroom. I'm icing my neck - and I may indulge in one show - but again - one show is better than the 4 hours I used to watch at night. Maybe I should go cold turkey - but I seem to be on a reduction diet....

more tomorrow...

Turning Off the Idiot Box - Day 2

"Television viewing is a cause of increased body fatness and reducing television viewing is a promising strategy for preventing childhood obesity" -

- The Stanford University Center for Research in Disease Prevention

6 out of 10 children have a risk factor for heart disease by the time they are 10 years old

"The more TV children view, the more likely they are to be overweight. Reduction in TV viewing constitutes the single most effective way for children to lose weight"

-Dr. William Dietz, Direction of Division of Nutrition and Physical Activity

US Center for Disease Control

There is no entry for Day 1 - so don't go looking for it. Every entry will begin with a quote from a study or legitimate organization that tells of the damage tv can cause. I need this to remind me. I'm not obese (at least not yet and not close) - but I do know it's an epidemic in this country and it was the nearest quote I could find for today's entry.

It has been quite a while since I wrote anything here. And without any explanation I'm plunging into my reasons for starting again now. I have vivid memories of my high school social studies teacher, Cliff Cobb, talking to us about the "Idiot Box" - meaning television of course. With those two words he was telling of his disdain for the medium but I was not at all ready to hear anything about it.

I have decided not to discuss my reasons for this right now but I am trying my hand at unplugging the plug-in drug. Yesterday was day 1. I had a few rough moments and my boyfriend and I went to the movies but other than that it went well. I slept better than I have in months and I felt more peaceful and present for myself and my relationship.

Today, Day2, went fairly well. I made it through a good part of the day. I began reading a novel, took a nap (something I absolutely cannot do once the television goes on) and ate at the kitchen table sans background television noise...success! I did decide to watch a netflix disc I had - it was a very good DeNiro film - I enjoyed it but I did notice that I was becoming somewhat agitated - I felt less peaceful and I was annoyed with myself. I'm not coming down too hard on myself. An hour and a half is better than the 4-5 hours I might have watched some other Sunday. I turned it off right after the movie and I'm finally writing this entry - which I wanted to get to all day. Also I downloaded a spanish language app - and am going through the lessons.

So not bad for the first two days. I will keep this updated as I move through this experiment.

Good night all

Today is my 40th Birthday

It's amazing...I've reached 40 and I'm excited about the day and the future.  So many women have said that life begins at 40 and I do feel some of the extraneous baggage slipping from my being.  I'm heading out to Michigan to see Amma on Tuesday.  This has been my plan for this birthday since last year.  I haven't attended a retreat in a few years.  I'm not in denial this year.  Visits with Amma are not easy (at least not for me).  I find that Her love pushes every button of negativity in me that needs to be cleansed, but each time this happens my heart opens more.  I'm still struggling with health issues and old thoughts of negativity and self hatred but those are slipping away.  And even if I don't prevent them from arising I am able to catch myself more and more and remember that God does have a plan for me.  That I am being cared for and so are the people around me.  Of course at this time family is on my mind.  I don't have much contact with mine.  So I hope for a phone call or acknowledgment of the day, but my expectations are less than they used to be.  My highs and lows less.  I'm coming to more of an acceptance of what is.  My hopes?  To meet my soulmate, to surrender to my life calling, to let more and more love into my life and pray more and more each day...to make my life a prayer.

I'm Heading to Oregon

I haven't had a true vacation in about 3 years. I have been researching places to visit and a few weeks ago Portland, Oregon popped into my mind. Shortly afterwards I tracked down an old friend of mine. He offered me a place to stay, I found a pretty good price on airfare from United and there you are...I'm off to Oregon! Yippee!

I have a painting of the Himalyas on my wall at home. Now I know Mt. Hood isn't the Himalyas but that is ok. I am so excited to be seeing a signifigant moutain range again. When I went to Colorado in my teens I fell in love with the Rockies. I'm also excited to see the coast, so I'm planning to spend 2 days traveling around Portland and then I will rent a car and take my day trips. Bruce, my friend, is enthusiastically telling me places to see (Tillamook, Bonneville Dam [sp.?], Astoria etc..) and I checked a Frommer's out of the library.

I'm going to be somewhat limited because of my feet (I had two surgeries) but I KNOW I am going to enjoy myself. When I arrive there is going to be a party going on - Bruce and I met in guitar class and he has a lot of pickin' friends. I also went out and bought myself a cute Digital camera - The Nikon CoolPix. I just could not imagine going to Oregon and not coming back with some great pics.

I can't wait to write about the trip upon my return... Here is to rest and relaxation!

A Month after Amma

I was so excited in my last posting that Amma was on Her way, but I always go into temporary amnesia about how hard She pushes me to grow. It was a DIFFICULT visit. That does not mean have any less faith in Her or that I don't love Her as much as always...just, oy, it was challenging. When I got to the hall where there were thousands of people it seemed like I could only see the people I had difficulties with...it was as if she had turned up the volume on my inner challenges. I felt like I was being bomarded by negativity. I went home and became severely depressed. I kept plodding through though, showing up, doing the best I could to take care of myself and serve. About 7am the last night of her visit, during Devi Bhava (which is when She reveals even more of Her Goddess energy) I finally spoke to someone who had wronged me last year. I'm used to being a doormat. I take a lot c**p from people and I think Amma was saying "wake up, girl" " take care of yourself" "you are my beloved". That was the beginning of a string of phone calls and emails to lots of folks I had "stuff with". Some went very well - resolution, healing, growth, some left me feeling kind of worn, but praise be to Amma I am beginning to get off the floor. I like myself a little bit more. I'm considering more and more that I don't deserve to be mistreated. Amma turns up the heat but the end result is always worth it. That old saying "what doesnt kill us makes us stronger" fits here.

Also, Amma gave me a spiritual name this year. I won't write the name here because i've decided it is a personal connection to Her but it means "without compare". Oh, Amma I love you!

Your daughter,
Rena